The hardest thing to do when you’re suffering from depression is get out of bed. You lay there, maybe having slept, maybe not due to all the thoughts running a hundred miles per hour in your head, and feel as if each of your limbs weighs more than your entire body. The thought of facing another day isn’t just torture, it seems absolutely pointless. That’s when you feel … Continue reading “Daddying” with Depression
You amaze me. You really do. I just happen to have a beautiful partner, an earthbound angel as terrific with the kids as any mother could be, and I’m still weary. Even divvying up the feeding, clothing, cleansing, running, chasing, and housekeeping I’m weary. Yet there you are. Doing it single-handed. I can’t even fathom trying to juggle all this on my own, and yet … Continue reading To The Single Parents
Hi. How are you doing today? Well, I hope. Listen, we need to have a talk. It’s come to my attention that you are a young, responsible, loving individual(s) that has taken on the responsibility of pet ownership. I can only imagine how excited you were the first time you saw your little ball of fluff, snuggling it and petting it, playing with its … Continue reading Dear “Fur Parents”
Oh, look at you, you magnificent tool. I don’t even know where to start. Are you drunk in this picture? You have to be drunk. Tell me you’re drunk, ’cause I’m having a hard enough time believing that I’m going to turn out like this. Oh, and one question – WHERE THE HELL IS OUR HAIR?? What on God’s earth possessed you to do that … Continue reading Hey, Old Man!
Parenting can be a thankless job. Sure we get Mother’s and Father’s Days, and every once in a while they’ll make us some little craft or art project out of the blue, but for the most part parenting is a one-way street. We raise them, care for them, provide for them, and they go on about their lives never questioning the golden parachute that is … Continue reading Payback or What I Want From My Kids
To this day, I can’t believe I got hired for this job. Twice. Working Title: Child Development Administrative Partner (aka “Dad”) Position Number: 2 Position Status: Never-Ending Work Schedule: On-call 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 52 weeks a year Purpose of Postion: To successfully raise a healthy, self affirmed individual of gender tbd, in an effort to insure self-sufficiency and removal of the grown child from … Continue reading Help Wanted
Well, hello there! Feeling a little TIRED, are we? Maybe a little RUN DOWN? Surely, it couldn’t have ANYTHING to do with that wondrous little miracle that the hospital made you bring home without the courtesy of providing any care instructions! After all, taking care of a new, incredibly fragile human being can’t possible be any harder than driving, can it? I mean, you have to have … Continue reading Advice I Wish I Had Gotten